An ode to tailgaters by M.M. Long:

As I drive my car down the street,
I wonder who I may meet
And as I look in my rearview mirror
I can see it so much clearer
Yes, you are right behind me
So close that I cannot see
Your front bumper at all
There isn't enough room for a ball
To fit between your front bumper and mine.
But I know that I will be fine
Because you will be at fault if we crash
Oh darn! Michigan has a no fault law, that gives me a rash
I am leaving plenty of distance to my front
But the fact that you leave 3 inches makes me grunt.
Your driving makes me so nervous- is it right?
Is it necessary for your driving to cause others fright?
Let's say we were driving 70 miles per hour
Do you think you would have enough time to stop or would you go sour?
You might be in a hurry
And slightly in a scurry
But please get off my tail
Or I will loudly wail
I always want to stop quickly
But then I wonder if you're tickly
And if you're paying attention to the road
Or just to where you have to go and bring the load.
If you all could just give me a little more room
That would be great, I would even give you a broom.
But you wouldn't need a broom to clean up the broken glass
Because you are driving better- even when you go fast!
So overall I just want to say
Back off and I will get out of your way.